Field equipmentFS-864
It's Our Little Dumpster Fire Tee
For the founder who knows every day is a controlled burn. Soft cotton, vintage distressed print, and a mascot that's somehow smiling through it all.
USD 28.00
Issue 001For founders, unfortunately
BURN RATE
APPAREL.
Uniforms for unreasonable optimists, accidental therapists, and anyone burning money faster than their runway.
STATUS: DEFAULT ALIVE-ISH
THIS IS FINE™
Designed during a cash-flow crisisShips before the next pivot
BUILD → BURN → PIVOT → REPEATBUILD → BURN → PIVOT → REPEATBUILD → BURN → PIVOT → REPEATBUILD → BURN → PIVOT → REPEATBUILD → BURN → PIVOT → REPEATBUILD → BURN → PIVOT → REPEAT
Current inventory · Drop 001
FIELD EQUIPMENT
Tees and stickers for the operationally optimistic.
Tested in production. Results may vary. Investor approval not required.
Field equipmentFS-632
Cathartic Founder Wear Tee
Because sometimes the only therapy a founder needs is a really good shirt. Wear your burnout proudly.
USD 28.00
Field equipmentFS-400
Pivot or Perish Tee
We're still pivoting. And we're still here. The official uniform for founders who know when to zig, zag, and occasionally panic.
USD 28.00
Field equipmentFS-168
Vibe Entrepreneurship Tee
Turn your ideas into garbage at scale. The shirt for founders who've read every startup book and still have no idea what they're doing.
USD 28.00
Field equipmentFS-704
Dumpster Fire Sticker
Stick this little guy on your laptop, water bottle, or cap table. A daily reminder that it's fine. Everything is fine.
USD 4.00
Memo / 001
To: Anyone still building
Re: The little dumpster fire
To: Anyone still building
Re: The little dumpster fire
FAIL LOUDER.
DRESS BETTER.
Founders don't need another motivational poster. We need something that admits the truth: this is chaos, cash burns fast, and the healthiest KPI is occasionally laughing at it.
Read the complete memo